Hannah's Hope

I am reading a book that has been a major encouragement. It is called "Hannah's Hope" The book has helped put things in perspective...state exactly how I am feeling a lot of the times...and give biblical and scripture encouragement. All I can say is I am praying hard for my Samuel. In the most recent chapter of the book it was talking about two hearts become one and how the whole situation with infertility can affect a marriage. Some of the questions I thought it is always a good reminder....
1. What attracted you most to your husband in the beginning?
I would say his gentle manner. You see must husband is a Cop. but quite honestly not a typical cop. Most who know or meet him outside of work would probably tell you they would never guess a police officer as his line of work. I loved that about him. He has a very gentle and loving heart....and for that I fell in love! So many other things too including that handsome face and I the first time I met him he was in a uniform!!! woo hoo.. can't knock that!!! :-)
2. Why did you marry?
Because he asked? hahahah...no really because we had discussed the important things that matter to each of us and were equally yoked. I knew this was a man that did want to be the head of the house and care for his wife and family. He loves me with an unconditional love and though there are rough and bumpy patches in every marriage we saw eye to eye on that. I say it often but through all of this Chris has been my rock. I think with so many marriages they lack the faith and communication part. And though we have a long way to go I feel like we do a great job of encouraging and talking to one another.
3. What do you admire most about your partner?
I said it in the first question...it is part of why I fell in love with him. He is a easy-going gentle man of God. Now the easy-going part can sometimes produce frustration but that is where the communication and for me the talking to God comes in. He is exactly what God knew I needed and what I always prayed for. I might not have known my perfect man but God knew. Chris is an amazing husband who wants nothing else than to support me and love me second to God!
4. What joint activities bring you the most pleasure?
Now this is a tricky one....I know there are things that he does with and for me that he probably wouldn't normally do. And on the flip side I know there are things (like going "crawling...or working in the yard with him) that I know he loves to do with me. But ultimately I don't know if there are specific activities..besides doing whatever with each other. I tend to be more of the social butterfly that wants to be out and about with friends...he does a great job of letting that happen...but once in awhile he puts the foot down and says he needs alone time. He is a great balance to myself... and does a wonderful job of graciously telling me to relax.
So that is just one little thing from this awesome book...
I am really trying to have a positive and trusting attitude towards everything going on right now. I once again have been faced with not my timing but God's timing. Wow, how many things we have to learn and go through...huh? I haven't started for this month yet...which means we can't go in and start the next round of IVF until I start. Soooo we wait....and pray and trust in God. How true and real this always is. I thought for sure we could start this month and do another go round in April...but God....and HIS timing decided otherwise I guess. Oh me and my little brain and what I try to not have...little faith.
Dear Lord,
Today is a new day. Please let me not worry about tomorrow for it is already written. Help me give you my fears, worries, and doubts. I know you know my heart...where it is at...and what I am feeling. I start to stress and get worried over the IVF timeline and the child timeline and I forget that you have it all under control. I give you all my praise and worship. Take my worries from me....help me to whole heartily give them to you. Lord I pray for our growth group and all our friends...I am not the only one who is going through struggles. Help each an every one draw closer to you through all they are going through. And I pray for Chris Lord...baptize him in the Holy Ghost... and continue to guide him to be the head of our house. I know he doesn't think he is strong in the word but please guide him and speak to him to help him with all that. Lord I know I have a lot of "requests" but I have to make sure I ask right? Ask and it shall be given... So Lord I want to ask for a child....and not just any child but the exact one (or ones) you have already prepared for us. Please. I love you...I praise you...and ask all of this in your Holy name....Lo